i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
