The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
