Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
