my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
