Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
