He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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