Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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