I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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