where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize