Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
