I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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