and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
