C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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