i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
