K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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