He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize