Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize