Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We need to get me chipped asap
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize