Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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