a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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