i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need to get me chipped asap
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
