He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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