im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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