it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
