I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I sprained my soul last night
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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