He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
