I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can I color on your dick again?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
