Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Someone came in the potted fern
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
