You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
