my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I want to be your penis for a week.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
