i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
