He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
