Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
