I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize