Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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