There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
