so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
