Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Boobs speak an international language.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
