someone threw a dead crab at me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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