I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
