You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am midnight drunk by noon
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
