Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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