But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
