Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They took my balls.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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