; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
