So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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