i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
