i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize