I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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