I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The beer is more important than you right now.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
