What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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