I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
