She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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