Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
