Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
