you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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