so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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