dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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