I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
