need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
