No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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