you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
