I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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