Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
