So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
