do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
