well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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